feel like doing something that i feel to do

I would like to be the one to hold everything in my hands, a decision maker, rather than blindly follow orders, being forced to perform unwillingly is just lifeless. I remember since i was a kid, it was 'legal' to play, sleep, eat whenever i want, i can now finally understand why people would resist to believe others and insist to believe themselves even they know they are not capable with it.

'its like a golden silk thread that binds all ur arms and legs, difficult to see yet hard to be broken, and when time goes by u realize that you're just another puppet afterall...'       ---   ng cheng ping